SCIENTIFIC PAPER

(article in press)

International Journal of Unreliable and Irreproducible Results

Biochemical profiles of athletes during a two-day event

*Masseroni Massimiliano

*Bullshit University, Cayman Islands

ABSTRACT

Biochemical profiles of 45 so-called athletes have been recorded during a two-day mountain bike singlespeed session in Piane di Mocogno (Italy). Total cholesterol, triglycerides, cortisol and GPT were recorded at arrival and every two hours. In accordance to previous literature data it was recorded that aerobic activity can reduce total cholesterol levels up to 20 % the initial levels, but it was shown that the presence of group of men indicated as “Tribol Team” in some cases raised total cholesterol levels up to 400 % the initial values. An interesting inverse correlation was found between total cholesterol levels and the distance from a man called “Savana”. Triglycerides profiles practically equal total cholesterol profiles in the majority of cases. GPT levels gave unexpected results since very high levels were found in the majority of the athletes with relevant peaks during the evening before the competition. This peak cold be justified only by alcohol abuse which is not consistent with the athlete status of the considered subjects. Further research is needed to explain this phenomenon. Cortisol levels were found to decrease along the two days demonstrating very low levels of stress in the observed population.